Want to Become a Better Speaker? Start Saying “Yes” to the Unexpected

With more than 15 years of standing on stages, sharing my voice, and loving every single moment of it, the past twelve months have brought a whole new layer of insight. Of course I’ve invested in myself by hiring a speaking coach, attending the National Speakers Association’s annual conference, and learning from other professional speakers, but this year has been special in a different way.

What changed? Well, I started bringing more of my personal stories into the mix. And it all clicked during a conversation with a client who first “experienced” me from the audience as an uber confident persona from the stage. When we had a laid-back one-on-one Zoom chat, he told me he felt an even stronger connection to me there than when I was in the spotlight. That was the lightbulb moment: as a speaker, it’s not just about showcasing expertise or sharing stats and success stories, it’s about being relatable and being the person who’s walked in the audience’s shoes.

So, in these next tips, you’ll find the blend of both worlds: the lessons I’ve learned from incredible speaking mentors and the realization that the real magic can happen when we mix our polished skills with our human stories. Let’s dive in!

Tip 1: Say Yes to the (Slightly) Unexpected

It might feel a bit daunting at first, but one of the best ways to grow is to embrace speaking opportunities that aren’t perfectly in your traditional lane. Maybe it’s a topic that’s tangentially related to your expertise or an audience you haven’t addressed before. I said yes to an inaugural Christian women’s conference this year and prepped a talk called, “From Darkness to Light: How Community Transformers Shame into Truth” (there wasn’t a dry eye in the room). I also said yes to being the opening keynote for a leadership program’s “Communication for Leaders” module (an incredibly vast topic) where I got to share my talk called, “The Credible Leader – How Visibility Impacts Influence.”

By saying yes to these slightly unexpected gigs, I found new angles to share my stories, be more vulnerable, and connect with audiences in fresh ways. Where can you say yes to a speaking opportunity that might be slightly out of your comfort zone, but will still allow you to make an impact?

Tip 2: Consider Your Audience’s Entire Experience

Whether you have only thirty minutes or ninety minutes, consider your audience the whole time: before they hear from you with their preconceived ideas about your topic (and you), during your talk, and what you want them to walk about knowing or feeling. 

Beyond the actual content I prepare, I love looking at my talks and deciding where to inject the attendees' interaction with me, engagement with each other, and even quiet thinking times for themselves. These important moments can be the difference between you talking at your audience versus talking with your audience. 

Tip 3: Capture Feedback…Always

Being part of a speaker community is more than just networking, it’s about growing through shared feedback and mutual support. One tool I absolutely love for this is Talkadot. I use it to gather real-time audience feedback, which I can then share with clients to showcase the impact of each talk. 

Below is a screenshot of part of my profile and a link to my profile so you can see how it works. I do not use it on every engagement, but I really love it when I do (and so do my clients!).

Here is my referral link if you want to give it a try for a free 30 days (time it up with your next speaking engagement!). Trust me, your clients and audiences will appreciate that extra layer of connection and insight.

Professionals who hire and pay speakers want to see you in action; I love that the platform lets me showcase clips of me speaking, testimonials, and more all in one place.

[Bonus] Tip 4: Revisit My Additional 10 Speaking Tips

If you missed my article with ten more speaking tips, here’s the link so you can bookmark it now.

The longer I do this work, the more I realize that great speaking isn’t about perfection, it’s about connection through authenticity and being a human. Every audience, every story, and every stage gives us the chance to meet people where they are and remind them they’re not alone. As I continue to grow in my own speaking journey, I’m grateful for the lessons that keep shaping me (both the expected and the unexpected!).

Your next great talk might be one brave “yes” away. Whether that means telling a story you’ve never shared before, saying yes to a new kind of audience, or simply asking for honest feedback: lean in. Growth as a speaker doesn’t happen on the sidelines. Here’s to saying yes to new opportunities, showing up as our full selves, and continuing to share the stories only we can tell.

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